The Working Pastor Journal 5/3/26: Do You Mean What You Pray

A journal by

Pastor Bobby

Do I truly mean what I pray? Before you go on, I want you to pause and truly think about this question before you go on. Because I know I needed to reflect on this question myself recently. Truth is we all go through seasons where we should ask ourselves this question. Because we probably don't mean. What we pray. And if we fall into that, we need to quickly readjust our hearts. Let me give you an example of what I mean by this in my personal life and what God is teaching or reteaching me.

At my secular job this week, I applied for a new job within the organization. I work at a homeless shelter, and like the job that I am at. However, there was a case manager position that opened up. There have been case manager positions opened in the past, but I never really wanted to be a case manager like that. The main reason is that I feel called to plant a church for those coming out of addiction and homelessness. My reach is way larger at the shelter than it would as a case manager. But there would be pros and cons to both jobs. So, after being push by a friend of mine, I applied for the case manager role. Then I got an interview. During this time, I was praying for God's will to be done. In particular I was praying if it was God's will for me to take the case manager position. Which then shifted into Lord please let me have this position if it's your will. Which then shifted into God let me have this position. Now there is nothing wrong about requesting things when we pray. God wants to hear our requests, and he wants to see how much faith we have. Matthew 7:7-11 (ESV) says, "[7] “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. [8] For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. [9] Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? [10] Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? [11] If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" Jesus tells us clearly that we can ask, and if it's in God will, He will give it to us. If this is the case, why do I feel conflicted. Let me continue with the story.

Like I said throughout the week I was praying for this job. But what I noticed was how my prayers started to change during the week. I told you about the shift in my prayers. But the truth was the shift that was happening in my heart. But I'll get back to that in a bit. And so, after praying for a week. I got an email saying that they decided to go in a different direction.

Honestly, for a couple hours I was highly upset. I then got into that mindset that I should have gotten that job. And really a mindset of aggregation and wrath. When like I said before, if truly didn't even want that job in the first place. Like I said there are pros to it, and if another case manager position opens up. I'll pray about taking it. But it's funny how quickly the evil one can cloud your mind. I felt disrespected that I didn't get that job. Both from my work and from God. As we know the evil one uses pride and deceit to oppress us. And I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It didn't matter that I prayed that God's will to be done or for God's will. And this might be more about how easy we as humans we can be deceived. But at the core of my heart. I wanted to be offended the job, and if I didn't take it. It would have been my decision. This is what God showed me with a spiritual four by four to the head. I didn't really mean what I was praying for. I didn't we want God to be in control; I wanted the control. I just wanted to sound spiritual.

Matthew 6:7-8 (ESV) "[7] “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. [8] Do not be like them, for your father knows what you need before you ask him." Jesus warns us not to pray like that. The problem is that so many of us tries to sound more holy than we really are when we are in front of God. Yes, even pastors like me. We all fall short of the glory of God, all of us. And so, I realized that I was just spewing empty words when I prayed for God's will when it came to this job. I didn't completely mean what I was praying. And so, when God answered my prayer but did it in a way that I didn't want it to be answer. I got upset. In which God reminded me that I prayed if it was in God's will, let me get this job.

We also need to remember this. When praying, God will always answer our prayers. But there are four answers we will usually get. The first is yes. Yes, it is in God's will to answer your prayer request. The Second is not yet. There are some prayer requests that we are not ready for yet. So, God needs to work on us first and prepare us for the answers to our prayers. The third answer is, yes but. What this means is that God will answer our prayer request, but He'll do it His way. An example of this could be, God is wanting to get married to the woman. God could be like yes; you will get married but.... it will be to this woman instead. The last answer to your prayer request could be no. This is an answer no one likes getting from God. But it is one that saves us a lot of pain. Alot of times we get this answer because it's simply not in God's will. And He has something greater plan. One of the hardest conversations to have and hear is when I have someone who said that they were praying for a loved one to be healed and they ended up dying. I been there myself. A couple years ago my dad went to the hospital for kidney stones. After so complications he ended up dying. But while it took a turn for the worst. My family and I were praying for a miraculous healing. And to be blunt, God said no. However, what He did do was take away my dad's pain. Now I know this is a cliche that you hear a lot from Christians. But it is true. My dad was once a great chef. He then lost his confidence, the feeling in his hands, his speed, his memory, and was slowly losing his mind. God was faithful and called him home. And so, no was the right answer.

The reason I say that, is to say God will is so much better and supreme then our own will. I know that when they told me that they went with another person for the case manager position, it was going according to God's plan. And I know that because that's what I prayed for. I just need to remember to be honest with God and myself. And truly pray for what I mean. While not throwing up meaningless words.

So, in closing, do you pray for what you truly want? Do you have the faith that God will answer your prayers? And will you not lose faith when God says no, or not yet?